True wealth comes from learning the value of "enough"
Many
people chase the almighty dollar because they think having more
money will make them happy. But scads of scientific studies have
shown that people with more money are no happier than those with less
(once you pass over the lowest income hurdle of having food and
shelter, that is.)
In fact, affluence is a relative thing --- if
you hang out with folks who barely have two pennies to rub together and
you've got two nickels, you're going to feel rich. On the other
hand, if you hang out with someone who owns his own island, you're
going to feel poor despite having a huge house and a fancy car and your
own yacht.
The American dream tells
us that we'll really be happy once we've got
all of the modern conveniences that our neighbors have, but most of the
time
when you try to have it all, you just end up with lots of little bits
of nothing. You work so many hours that you barely enjoy your
McMansion, then you're putting in overtime to save for your
kids' college education and end up feeling like you're living with
strangers. How can you break out of the cycle of measuring
yourself against your neighbors and always wanting more?
The trick is to learn
the value of "enough" by recalibrating your financial sensors.
Throw away your
television and stop listening to commercial radio --- those ads that
you think you can ignore are really seeping into your dreams.
Even movies are nefarious --- have you noticed that most movie
characters have a fancy new car and all of the modern
conveniences? By watching, you're telling your psyche that these
movie stars are who you want to measure yourself by.
If you can disentangle
yourself from the mainstream media, chances are you'll stop wanting so
much stuff. Mark and I are barely middle class by most people's
standards, but when people ask me what I want that I don't have, I
honestly can't think of anything. (Except more mulch, of
course...) By learning that "enough" for us costs very little
money, we were able to quit our
jobs and devote most
of our time to the things we really enjoy.
I think that people who
achieve financial independence and
true happiness are marked by only one thing --- they can figure out
when they have enough. Are you always in search of the next
raise, a new car, or a fancy gadget to make you happy? Or do you
realize that the things you really value in life are time with friends
and family, time to explore your hobbies, and time to change the
world? If the latter, then you have learned the value of enough
and can skip most of the Financial Integrity process --- you're there!
| This post is part of our Your Money or Your Life lunchtime series.
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About us: Anna Hess and Mark Hamilton spent over a decade living self-sufficiently in the mountains of Virginia before moving north to start over from scratch in the foothills of Ohio. They've experimented with permaculture, no-till gardening, trailersteading, home-based microbusinesses and much more, writing about their adventures in both blogs and books.
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Middle_class_squeeze
More or less what I was getting at... I'd argue that our purchasing power hasn't necessarily gone up when one considers the cost of education, housing, and health care.
But how much of that is also relative? I posted over on my wetknee blog today about how annual housing cost for the American family is currently over $16,000. That's in large part because most Americans think it's their right to own their own home, and not just any home but a huge house --- the square footage of American homes has tripled in the last half century. If we were willing to live in just 250 square feet per person (the average in 1950), could we do that on less money than people could in 1950? I don't know the answer, but I suspect we might be able to.
Education has seen a similar trend. My understanding is that people didn't used to go to college as a matter of course just a few decades ago. Now, everyone thinks they have to have an ivy league education. Now, I adored my ivy league education, but in retrospect, I'm not sure it was worth the money I paid for it.
(I don't know anything about insurance costs over time...
)
I guess my argument is that our standards for what constitutes the middle class have risen, which is why we feel a middle class squeeze. The current middle class is more like the previous upper class. Couldn't we live a little bit lower on the hog and still be middle class, if people who lived that way fifty years ago were perfectly content as the middle class?
(I wish I could cite sources here, but these are vague memories from blogs I've read and NPR stories I've heard...
)
I call this problem the "I'll be happy when..." syndrome.
So many people are unhappy with where they're at, but have this idea that if they just had that one more thing, they'd be completely content. It's "I'll be happy when I get a boyfriend", or "I'll be happy when I get that sports car", or "I'll be happy when I get that job". They think getting this one more thing is going to solve all the problems in their life. And that's why so many people will take on debt up to their eyeballs to buy that "one more thing".
And the weird part is, whenever they do get that thing they're yearning for, they're no happier and it's immediately replaced with yearning for the next "one more thing". Despite a lifetime of yearning, disappointment, and new yearning, they never realise that they're just repeating the same old unsatisfying pattern over and over again.
Of course, advertisers pander to this behaviour, and popular culture (TV shows, movies, magazines, music, career advisors, etc) continually reinforces it.
I think the simplest way to break free is to just stop watching TV and reading magazines. It also helps to hang around with people who earn less than you but share your attitudes and interests.